Down time

Throughout my life I have had many sad moments or moments where I have felt like I was nothing but a big mistake. I call this my down time because during moments like these I have nothing but doubts, fear, and sadness that just seems like they will last forever. You see, as motivated and happy as I am, deep down inside I’m a bag of tears just waiting to burst. The reason for it however is because I take everything upon myself. Whatever mistake I made, whatever person I couldn’t save, and whatever dream I didn’t follow at the end of the day I take it all in. Now, I’m not going to lie most of the times I just want to hop in the shower and just let the tears roll, but nothing seems to come out. It’s like the tears I feel inside and the anger just waiting to explode just doesn’t want to come out. It has been many times where I have allowed my emotions to get in the way of me working or get in the way of how I feel about myself. Now, all in all, I’m not writing this article to say how sad and angry I am. No, I’m writing this for one reason and that reason is to show everyone out there that you will have your own “down time.” You will have your own moments in life where you feel like a complete fuck up and all you want to do it just cry or punch it all away. Where you just want to sit down and feel sorry for yourself because of the mistakes that you have made. But I say those moments are necessary. They are necessary because they allow for you to break yourself down only to build yourself back up again, but this time you’ll be new and improved. So I say to you, that it’s ok, it’s ok to have your down time, it’s ok to not be alright all the time, and it’s ok to feel like it will never end. Believe me it’s something that comes and goes all over again, but it’s something that you are going to have to go through if you are wanting to see growth within yourself.

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