This season is a season of release. A season of releasing all of those toxic people out of your life, a season of releasing all of those negative relationships you are in, and a season of releasing all of those doubts and insecurities that are all bundled inside of you. Because this is a season of releasing all of those chains that are dragging you down. Now it will be hard to release those chains. It will be hard because we are so used to having them. Honestly, we don’t know how our lives will be without them but we do know how our lives are with them. Which is why we must take the risk to release those chains that are doing nothing but bringing us down. So in this season, focus on releasing those chains that are dragging you down. Hey, even I have chains that are preventing me from reaching the next level. But we are not PRISONERS. So we will break free of those chains and embrace the freedom that we will have given ourselves. So break free, let go, and release those chains to begin your change.
As time goes by. As I start achieving my goals. As I start changing my life, I think to myself how far I have come? I think to myself how far I have grown? And I think to myself how far will I go? You see, at the end of the day it’s all on me. Every word written, every word spoken, every heart touched, every bond made and broken, and every step I take is all on me. Most people don’t know what I’m truly thinking unless I let them know. Most see a smile and assume “oh he’s happy everything is ok, ” but in reality, they don’t know what I’m truly going through mentally. You see, I put everything on myself because I believe I can change the way someone thinks and change the way someone sees the world. I believe I can change the situation my family is in and I believe I can lend a helping hand in so many ways. But to do that, I decided to put it all on myself. Put every responsibility I didn’t own, every action I didn’t take, and every opportunity I missed on me. I put everything on myself because yes, at times I can be hard on myself, but it’s because I demand more out of myself. I demand more knowledge, more strength, more willingness, more ambition, more patience, and so much more out of myself. Because yes, I know that when you have a team you can be strong together, but imagine if you were strong by yourself and you brought that same strength to a team that grew over time. There would be nothing you couldn’t achieve. That’s why it’s all on me it always has been and it always will be. Now, yes I have God on my side as well as family and friends but at the end of the day, it’s all on me. Every mountain climbed, every brick-built, every prayer made, and every phone call is all on me. To all of those who are fighting some tough fights, that it’s all on you. It’s all on you to get you out of what you are in. Think of it as no one is coming to rescue you so you must rescue yourself. Because at the end of the day it’s all on you to choose whether or not you need the help. It’s all on you to choose if you need the prayer and it’s all on you to choose whether you want to change your life or not. The choice is simple because it’s ALL. ON. YOU!
I ask myself many times, just what am I doing this for? Was it for the money? Was it for the fame? Was it just so I could clear my mind? Or was it for something that I haven’t discovered yet? You see, I first started writing because I needed a way to escape my old mindset. I was in a bad spot mentally and I just needed something to help me out. But, as I continued on writing, not only did it allow me to heal myself mentally but it opened up new doors for me. You see, as new doors begin to open up I begin to ask more questions and one of the questions I asked was, what is the greatest reward? You see, I believe the greatest reward is to know that you did everything you wanted to do in your life and left nothing behind. But, I realized that the greatest reward required the greatest sacrifice. You see you can’t just ask for something and not work your ass off to receive it. It’s doesn’t work that way. The way it works is by knowing the system, asking the questions, and putting in the work. You see, your greatest reward is something that you can take to the grave with you. You can take it to the grave with you knowing that you did all of what you wanted to do. You reshaped the world, you showed someone how to love, you wrote books that changed people’s lives, you jumped in a ball pit even though the sign says no adults allowed, and so much more. So I ask you are you willing to make the greatest sacrifice for the greatest reward? Because that greatest reward can’t be achieved without us making the greatest sacrifice to become the greatest person we can be.
You see, as a baby, we have to be taken care of because at that time we aren’t able to take care of ourselves. We have to be fed, bathed, changed, and so much more. We depend on other people to take care of us because we aren’t able to do it ourselves. Now, fast-forward into our teenage years. There are certain things we have to do on our own now, but there are also new responsibilities added on like homework, chores, learning how to drive, having a curfew set, and many more. Now, the kicker is some of us are lucky enough to have parents/guardians who believe in us, tell us we can do anything we set our mind to, and help guide us in a good direction. Now, some of us weren’t given that opportunity. Some of us didn’t have parents/guardians who loved us, believed in us, and guided us in a good direction. So instead, some turned to anyone willing to lead them in any direction. Most people ask why does this person have such bad behavior? Why does this person lack common sense? Why does this person have no goals? etc. You see, people look at these kinds of people and ask all these questions, but they don’t realize that this person might be someone who didn’t have any guidance in life. This person didn’t have anyone to show him/her good matters so they followed someone who showed them bad ones. This person didn’t have anyone to show them how to work for what you want so he/her followed someone who showed them how to steal it. This person didn’t have someone who had goals for themselves so they followed someone who had none. This person didn’t have a home to go to so they followed someone who had given them a house. You see, without guidance in our lives, we can get out of control and lost, therefore we’ll turn to anyone who can get us out of it. It doesn’t matter if their intentions are good or bad, we will listen to them because it’s the only guidance we are receiving. So, why do we judge people based on the lack of guidance some of us have over others? Is it because we think we are better than them? Is it because we lack guidance ourselves? Or is it because we just love seeing people suffer more than us? I was always told to treat everyone with respect, but most of all treat everyone the same way you want to be treated. So, how do we all want to be treated? What is this guidance that we all so desperately need?
We’ve talked about walking in the shadow of men, but what about walking in the shadow of women? You see, as a man I have heard, seen, and learned many different things about women that I’m still in the process of understanding. You see, women have accomplished so many great things as well, but also like men they have faced and caused destruction as well. They have cheated, lied, manipulated, tortured, used, and abused themselves and others. They have faced backlash and shame such as if their ass isn’t as big as others, if they aren’t as pretty as others, if their hip size isn’t as small as others, and so much more. You see, nowadays women will be put into different categories such as if she’s wearing this she’s a whore, or if she acts this way then she’s gay. It’s to the point where some women have become very self-conscious and insecure about themselves because of how they look and they’ll do almost anything to get that perfect body just so they can fit in with the crowd or not be judged as much by others. You see, I believe that if a woman wears certain clothes it’s not because she wants to show her private areas off, it’s because she wants to feel and look good for herself. Now, I also believe if a woman is wearing certain clothes for attention we shouldn’t go around assuming every woman is like that all because of one. Honestly, I feel like most women just want a chance, a chance to be treated as equals, a chance to not be looked at as sexual objects, and a chance to be able to think on their own. There’s a reason why some women choose to be independent, even though they know they can easily get a man. They prefer to not have one because they don’t want anyone telling them what to do. Now, I do believe women walking in the shadow of other women have been blessed with a gift and a curse as well. But like men, that curse can be cured and that gift can be used. For example, not all women are meant to be mothers in this world because some women will hurt, neglect, and abuse their children. It’s sad because there are women who want a child but are having problems producing one. There are women who would give their all just to be blessed with a child to protect, nurture, and love. Because for every cursed woman there will always be one who can make the sun shine on a rainy day and fill the empty hearts with love. It’s sad to admit how some women will go to their graves never once becoming the goddess they were meant to be. All because of the shadow they refused to clean. But, the others will go to their grave as goddesses on earth because of the shadow they cleaned and made new again.
Resisting and Refilling is something very important that I have begun to take notice of. It’s something that I have begun to add to my life so that I can improve my mental and physical state overall. You see, I’ve learned that there are many things in our life that we are going to have to resist. Those things include drinking, lustful thoughts, laziness, procrastinating, overthinking, sexualization, negative self-talk to ourselves and others, and many more. And refill with things such as working out, meditating, praying, learning, executing, and overall healing ourselves in every way. You see, people talk about how you should stop overthinking but never have an answer to how you should stop. They talk about how you shouldn’t have lustful thoughts but don’t have the answers for it. I believe the reason for this is because many people know how to resist something but they don’t know how to refill it. You see, it’s like working out, when you work out your body is being torn apart and broken down, and the way to refill it is through drinking water and eating the right food. It’s like good and bad, these two are partners and if you think you can live your life without one or the other then you are in for a rude awakening. Honestly, I was someone who struggled with resist and refill. Because I would resist the lustful thoughts but I had nothing to refill it with, which would cause them to happen again. However, I learned that through the refilling of prayer and writing that I could resist lustful thoughts so I would be able to strengthen myself mentally. So, I say to you find out what is in your life that you want to resist, and once you have the answer figure out how you will refill from these things. Because it’s hard to resist but it’s also hard to refill especially when things have become a routine for you. This is why you must make it a routine to practice resisting and refilling every day until you have mastered them both. Because the only person that can truly stop you from being able to resist and refill is yourself.
Walking in the shadow of men can be tough life at times. You see, us men have accomplished so many things, but we have also caused so much destruction. We have lied, cheated, raped, harassed, begged, sinned, and caused so many more traumas to the point where most women, and even most men have separated themselves from us. Like men, most women have insecurities and trust issues, and most of it is due to the relationships they’ve had with women. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to deal with the same conversation about men, and how we all are the same, and how we all just want to swing that dangly thing in between our legs. Now, I try to understand, but there’s also apart of me that wants to defend that term because not all men are the same. Most men aren’t cheaters, most men aren’t liars, most men aren’t rapist in fact some actually have mothers who have been raped, which is why they promised to never hurt a woman, and also most men really only want one thing. And that’s to be given a chance, a chance to show that they aren’t like other men. A chance to show that you can trust them. A chance to show that you can come to them in time of need, and a chance to show you that even on your darkest days, we will still love you, and help you overcome them. You see, walking in a shadow of men, to me, is a beautiful gift that can easily be turned into a curse if we allow it to be. But like most curses, they all contain a cure to them. I believe the cure to the shadow of men is to first realize that we are not perfect, we are not all strong, we weren’t born full of lustful thoughts, it’s something that we learned, and that we are all not the same. Honestly, we are all not protectors because as many times as a man can hurt you, there will always be one that can protect you. Now sure finding these men can be hard sometimes, even the men that were once attackers, turned out to be protectors in the end. It can’t be something built in one day, it’s something that takes time. It’s takes time for men to realize our actions, even once we have been told them. It still may not click right then and there. But, overtime the shadows of most men can be cured and healed. Now, some may take it to their graves. Never becoming the new man they should have be. But, others will break out of their cocoon, and become the warrior that has been waiting on them the whole time.
The most valuable thing in the world is time. You see, life is what you make of it whether you choose bad or good the choice is up to you. But, you must remember your time is the most valuable thing you will ever contain. You see, we don’t know when our time is up, we don’t know when death could be standing at the door waiting for us. Which is why every second of every minute, of every hour should not be wasted. This is why we must not waste time worried about what someone else has to say about us. Seriously, why do we choose to waste time thinking about what other people have to say? Why do we waste time bitching and complaining about things that we have no control over? Why do we waste time feeling sorry for ourselves when we could be out bettering ourselves? Why do we waste time chasing after someone else’s wishes for us when we should be chasing after our own? I had to learn that you can’t waste your time bitching about something, if you aren’t going to do anything about it. You can’t waste your time on things that you have no control over, because the only thing you can control is how you respond. I had to learn that you can’t rewind time to go back to the good days, when you start going through the shitty ones. Life isn’t like that because while you are trying to stand still or move backwards, life is just going to keep on moving forward whether you like it or not. Time isn’t going to stand still for no one, which is why you can’t just waste it because you’ll never get that time back. Now, I know I’m young, but being 20 years old there are so many things I wish I could change. I wish I could go back in time and change my cousin’s death. I wish I could go back in time and ask out the girl who I was scared to ask. I wish I could go back in time and do the things in high-school I wanted to do, and I wish I could go back in time and tell my much younger self the things I know now. But I can’t, I can’t change anything that has already happened. The only thing I can do now is not waste my time and do everything that I want to do. If I don’t have the money for it, then I’ll earn it. If I don’t have the strength for it, then I’ll gain it. If I don’t have the knowledge for it, then I’ll learn it. The point is this, for now on I will not waste anymore time. I will do the things that I have always wanted to do without worrying about what comes my way. Because when time stops and the clock doesn’t tick anymore, I will have no regrets on what I didn’t do. Because I will have lived a fulfilled life without wasting any of my time.
I think one of the hardest things to change is our mindset. I know I talk about mindset a lot, but it’s because our mindset is the key to everything we do. But not only is it the key, it’s also one of the hardest things we have that is hard to change. Now, when you are trying to better your life, that requires for you to do many things you haven’t done before. It will require for you to get out of your comfort zone and explore new things that can help better your life. Now, all of that requires for you to change your old mindset into a new one, but it’s something that must be done consistently. I believe the reason for this is because our mind has muscle memorized so many things to the point where most things become instant. For example, navy seals go through so much training in order to become a navy seal, and once they become one they still go through more training. Now, not only do they go through this much training so they can be better over time, but also so that when they are on a mission, and it’s time to act, they will do it instantly without even thinking about it. You see, it all dials down to our daily habits we do everyday. For instance, if you are someone who wants to better yourself, but every time you make an excuse for not working out, or getting up early then your mind turns that into muscle memory. And overtime making excuses just becomes something instantly you do without even thinking about it. Which is why you must target your daily habits and think about exactly what it is you do everyday, that pushes you farther, and farther away from the person you want to become. Because we all have something that’s keeping us from reaching our full potential and usually it’s our muscle memories that we haven’t changed.
Have you ever thought about something or said something then later on that day, or week it became reality? You see, that’s called manifesting. You see, when you manifest something you think or speak it into existence. It’s something that’s very powerful because whether it’s good or bad it can come true. You see, I strongly believe that your mind, soul, body, spirit and the universe are affected heavily by the things you say or think. For instance, if you speak life into yourself then you will get life, but if speak death into yourself then you will get death. I once heard this old ancient quote that goes “The warrior inside of us is affected by the things we speak or think of”, which is another reason I wrote this speech because it reminded me just how important manifesting is. You see, if you want to turn your whole life around you must see the good in it first. But, not do you need to see it you must manifest it, you must think it, speak it, and pursue it. Because changing your life begins the very moment you start to manifest it.
“Whatever image your mind clings to will tend to replicate itself in your real world.”~ Mary Morrissey