Down time

Throughout my life I have had many sad moments or moments where I have felt like I was nothing but a big mistake. I call this my down time because during moments like these I have nothing but doubts, fear, and sadness that just seems like they will last forever. You see, as motivated and happy as I am, deep down inside I’m a bag of tears just waiting to burst. The reason for it however is because I take everything upon myself. Whatever mistake I made, whatever person I couldn’t save, and whatever dream I didn’t follow at the end of the day I take it all in. Now, I’m not going to lie most of the times I just want to hop in the shower and just let the tears roll, but nothing seems to come out. It’s like the tears I feel inside and the anger just waiting to explode just doesn’t want to come out. It has been many times where I have allowed my emotions to get in the way of me working or get in the way of how I feel about myself. Now, all in all, I’m not writing this article to say how sad and angry I am. No, I’m writing this for one reason and that reason is to show everyone out there that you will have your own “down time.” You will have your own moments in life where you feel like a complete fuck up and all you want to do it just cry or punch it all away. Where you just want to sit down and feel sorry for yourself because of the mistakes that you have made. But I say those moments are necessary. They are necessary because they allow for you to break yourself down only to build yourself back up again, but this time you’ll be new and improved. So I say to you, that it’s ok, it’s ok to have your down time, it’s ok to not be alright all the time, and it’s ok to feel like it will never end. Believe me it’s something that comes and goes all over again, but it’s something that you are going to have to go through if you are wanting to see growth within yourself.

The Power Of Understanding

You see, most times I get asked “What’s being a black man like? What’s being in the navy like? What’s chasing your dreams like?” But I’ve never heard the question “What’s being different like?” I think being different for us is done in many ways through the hardships and struggles we face everyday. Some comes from Hispanics having to deal with being called an immigrant everyday. Some comes from a black person being told you don’t even know your own father, and some comes from a white person trying to prove a point that not all white people are racist. You see, I feel like we don’t understand anything about each other at times, like yeah we try but most of the time that goes in one ear and comes out the other. I feel like we don’t truly take time to try to understand the other race’s challenges and hardships that they have to face too. Like let’s be real not every black person lives in the ghetto, not every white person has money, not every Hispanic person is illegal, not every Filipino person was treated equal growing up, and not every person is the same. We all are treated different for things that at times we have no control over. We can’t help it that our families act like this, we can’t help it that we were born this color, we can’t help it that this person said this, and we can’t help the fact that we were born the way we are now. But, what we can help is how we react to things, how we choose to help people, how we choose to understand each other even with our very own differences, and how we choose to make a change not only in others but mainly in ourselves. You see, the moral of the story is this we all are here for a different reason that we are still trying to figure out. Some of us look for purpose in many different things while some of us just go with the flow. But I ask whoever you are, please do one thing and that is before you judge, before you fight, before you hate please take a minute and try to understand one another. It’s a useful tool for dealing with someone different from me. I learned it helps make things easier not only for yourself, but for other people as well.

What Does Your Dreams Identify About You

The love I have for my dreams is real. I think about them everyday, all day. I have late nights and early mornings because I’m working towards them. And I rush to sleep only to wake up driven and motivated by them. You see, my dreams reveal my hard work, my love for learning more, and my obsession with demanding more out of myself. Because at the end of the day my dreams identify me. So ask yourself what are the things that you dream about? And what would you like for your dreams to reveal about you?

It’s ok that you are not

You are going through pain, it’s ok. You feel lost and discourage, it’s ok. You feel no love is given to you, it’s ok. All the doors around you seem to be locked, it’s ok. You see it’s ok, it’s ok that you are not ok. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. So many people don’t like seeing others all drained and down because they feel like it affects them. Now, in some ways it does, but it’s not always in a bad way. You see, there is a lesson to be learned from this. And that lesson is that you will not always be ok. You will not always have a smile on your face and you will not always be fine with your current situation. So don’t be scared to show that you are not ok, because in reality most of the times we aren’t even if it seem like we are, deep down inside there is someone crying and begging to get out.

Inspired by Megan Divine

Planted Seed

Love, learn, live, is it all a game. We love then we hate, is it all the same. We struggle in disguise, but rise upon their eyes. The pain we never show, the tears we try to hide. The love we show to many, whether lost and never found. The hate that we receive, whether up or ever down. And still we choose to rise, as we go up above the skies. The heavens will know our name, the hells will know our pride. Our life is like a seed, and forever they shall know. You cannot stop a seed, that is forever meant to grow.

What’s written in the scars?

Written behind the scars, lies a person beaten and broken. A person who couldn’t withstand any pain, any suffering, or any lost of any kind. But what’s written in the scars? What remains after the damage has been done? You see, there is a story to be told from the scars, the scars aren’t just ruins that we wish would go away. The scars are a story, they are memories, they are mountains we have conquered and valleys we have washed away. They’re our brightest sun and our darkest moon. They’re our reasons to move on and our reasons to give more. Truth is what’s written in the scars is us.

I’m an over thinker

I’m proud to say that I’m an over thinker. You see, there are so many things that I constantly have on my mind and so many situations that I make up in my mind that can sometimes lead to great things, but also bad ones. What I mean by that is I like to dive deep into everything that I think about, you see to me it’s more than just a thought, it’s a vision. It’s a vision that can manifest into a good way but also in a bad way. For example, I’m always thinking of ways, of how I can make myself better whether that’s through my website, speeches, writings, businesses, etc. But, I also think about a lot of “What if’s?” that tends to bring me down at times. Like I’ll be like what if no one likes it, what if I mess something up, what if I’m leading people down the wrong path,etc. You see, with the positives thoughts also comes the negative ones. Now, yes I do all that I can to help with the negativity so I can wash it away, but it’s like with every new goal, every new mountain I climb, there is always something negative that comes in my mind about it. I mainly believe it comes from the fact of me getting scared because I’m achieving and doing things I never done before, but at some point I feel like it’s too good to be true. At some point I feel like I’m going to fail and fail and fail again, and never seem to make it back to the place I originally was. But in all honesty, I realized that I’m fine with failing. I’m fine with failing over and over and over again, and never going back to the person I used to be. Because there is no need to stay the same, there is no need to not try new things, and there is no need for me to over think about the possibilities of greatness that I possess. So, I say this, if you are an over thinker, EMBRACE THAT SHIT! There isn’t nothing wrong with being an over thinker, you just have to realize that you at least think about all the possibilities that can occur. Whether they’re negative or positive you think them, but you can also change them. Remember it’s your mind, your thoughts, so control them the way that you want to. Embrace them the way that you to. And let your thoughts be one with the wind.

What are our limits?

There’s a saying that goes “I’m only human.”You see, what I understand from this saying is that it means “I’m a human. I have limits,” which I totally agree with but I also disagree with. You see, something that I have learned is that humanity is capable of anything when we work together. You see, I had to learn that you contain all the answers to your problems, but the only thing is you need someone to guide you towards those answers. It’s like the answers are already there you just haven’t unlocked them because you haven’t asked. You haven’t ask the questions that you need to ask, you haven’t went looking for the help that you need, and you will stay limited until you learn to make connections with the abundance around you. You see, we surprise ourselves with all the new heights that we reach such as; putting a man on the moon, sending a rover to Mars, building towers that seem to reach the heavens, and leaving behind any doubts of being limited. You see, we have already proven that together we are limitless, that together we can achieve anything. But what is humanity capable of? I believe that answer is anything that we put our mind to. Because yes, alone we have limits, but together we are limitless. Together we can help each other unlock the limits that were set for us. So if you are someone who knows they can’t do everything alone, someone who knows they don’t contain all the answers, find someone who does. Reality is we all need help with something, we all have questions that we want answers to. So what better way to get it then by asking each other? What better way to help than to help each other?